My Biggest Struggle in Life: Embracing Me

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So, today I am going to get personal, more personal then usual. I don’t really talk discuss my insecurities publicly, if ever but I thought today i would open up a little more. I know it’s pretty normal to have little hang ups or things we don’t really care for when we look in the mirror, but sometimes it goes further than that. You ever look in the mirror and just hate what you see? Yep, that’s how I feel constantly, but I saw an article a while back that a lady wrote about how she wanted to stop hiding from and behind the camera because she wanted to be able to document time spent with her family and it resonated so much with me, like it was written for me. I am that person, I hide behind the camera and from the camera, but up until just recently the only decent pictures I had of me and my son were from when he was a newborn and 4 months old and even those were few and far between, and my son just turned 2 last month so that’s saying something. So, when it came time to do his 2 year pictures I decided that enough was enough and that I needed some pictures of our family together and of my son and I regardless of how good or bad I thought or felt like I looked. I have to be honest, I am so glad that I did it because I got some really great photos to capture the moment in time of our son turning 2. Of course it didn’t hurt to have an amazing photographer to capture it all! I’m no selfie fiend and I don’t take very many pictures of just me or even me and my son or husband, but I am learning to embrace myself and where I am in my life and I look forward to the pictures we will be taking at the end of this month to prepare for Christmas. What’s my point? Well my point, however cliche it may be, is that life is too short to hide from the camera, because the moments of life come and go, but the one sure fire way to capture and keep those moments for a life time is to photograph or video them.


me and silas

So, no more hiding, no more missing out on capturing memories because I don’t like how I look or what other will think of me. It’s not an easy thing for me, and some days I will struggle with it more than others, but I have a husband and a son and I want them to have as many memories captured and pictures as they want. I don’t want them to one day look through boxes of photos, or in our day and age computer and phone, and have no photos of me to remember me by. I know how wonderful and powerful memories are, but I feel like it is so important to have those memories captured forever, withstanding all time. It’s not always easy, and if you’re at all like me sometimes you will look at a picture and want to erase it or throw it away, but I urge you to save it. Leave it, because we are our harshest critics and chances are our loved ones may love that photo. Get out from behind the camera, and beside the ones you love and just SMILE! It’s okay if they don’t all come out perfect, it’s okay if you don’t just LOVE how you look in the photo…. It holds a memory and it holds meaning that goes further than skin deep.Chances are, what might look rough to you might be beautiful and frame-worthy to someone else….At least that is what I have decided to start telling myself.

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2 thoughts on “My Biggest Struggle in Life: Embracing Me

  1. I can personally appreciate your struggle because I’ve lived it myself. Everyday I pray to die to myself, and remember that I live for Him, where it doesn’t matter what I look like in order to let His light shine through me. The enemy wants to keep us buried in insecurities because he fears the power within us, Christ in us! Recently…I’ve committed to stop believing the lies the enemy would have me believe, retired if believing the lies…and started truly believing the Word of my daddy Abba father who said He formed me and fearfully and wonderfully made me. We are His workmanship and I can’t help but feel like I’m slapping Him in the face when I become critical of His design. You are beautiful, you have a beautiful family, your pictures are incredible, and you’re sharing the love of our Lord…..don’t let the enemy keep you down sister…let our Lords light shine through you and that is what everyone will see 🙂 thanks for baring your deepest feelings and struggles….when you express all of that stuff out that is not if Him, He can lovingly impress in us all that is of Him. Love in Christ!

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  2. I too can relate. I struggle with my weight on an ongoing basis, and I hate pics that show me looking less than perfect. I also hate ones that don’t show my family well…but you’ve made some great points in this post. Thanks for sharing 🙂

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