Biblical Parenting: Where Only One Opinion Matters

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So, I recently wrote a post about how my family and I decided to say goodbye to Santa and we were met with a lot of skepticism, bewilderment and even some judgment (even on here as well) and we have other decisions that we have discussed as a couple that people will without a doubt see as mean, cruel, or even taking away from our kids childhood; but it has become more and more clear to me that it’s totally okay if people think we are party pooper’s or sticks in the mud because we are doing what we feel the Lord is leading us to do. Is what He has led us to do what is right for everyone else? Absolutely not. I have spent so much of my life caring too much about what others think or believe and too little about what I believe, feel, or think but I have to stop caring what others think and care about what God thinks and what He would have for me and for my family.

Parenting is already so hard and before the baby is even in your arms you’re being faced with parenting decisions: to circumcise or not to circumcise, breast or bottle, stay home or put him/her in daycare, crib or co-sleep, spanking or time-out, and the list goes on and on and on. I’m not sure why but once you get pregnant and people know the questions and it goes without saying (almost always) the questions will start and with the questions many times comes the unsolicited advice and judgments. Don’t get me wrong, advice is great, when it’s asked for, but sometimes it can be more detrimental then beneficial. I just read this post recently called , “To Build (or Break) A Child’s Spirit” which can be read here. The post is obviously about how we as parents speak to our kids but I feel like it can apply to anyone, like how mothers speak to other mothers about their parenting decisions. As mothers (and even fathers) we should be spending time building one another up and helping one another.

I’ll be the first one to admit I have not always been good at this, and I have for sure done my fair share of judging, but it’s time to stop all of that. It’s time to put aside all of our differences and support one another (one of my New Years Resolutions for 2015). Parenting looks different for everyone, and I think everyone envisions their parenting to look one way or another but often times it turns out totally different. I mean look at me! I was planning for a natural birth, ended up having a c-section, said he would never sleep in our bed and we’ve been co-sleeping for about a year now, said he wouldn’t take a paci and he had one by the end of the first night in the hospital. My point? Parenting sounds so idyllic and I think we all envision a certain rosy picture of what it will all look like, but the truth is parenting is messy and there is no right or wrong answer or way to parent. However, I do think it’s important as parents who are Christians that we surrender control over to the Lord and allow the Holy Spirit to guide us through the big stuff. As a believer and as a mother my duty in life, my job is to teach my child(ren) about God and raise them in a home that points them back to HIM as much as we can. So, in parenting our decisions should be made with Him in mind guided by the Holy Spirit. I think I might be babbling now so I’m going to leave you with my favorite verse in regards to parenting which is Proverbs  22:6 which says: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

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5 thoughts on “Biblical Parenting: Where Only One Opinion Matters

  1. We don’t have Santa either. It was a tough choice and together it with out went the Christmas tree. I’ve been researching the roots of many Christmas traditions and just couldn’t keep on doing them after knowing which god I was really serving. Luckily it’s been harder for me than for my son. But I expect I will have to explain it to him when he grows up.

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  2. We travel for Christmas, even if it’s just a day trip to do some where different. Our girls are young now so my husband likes to watch them unwrap gifts but it’s either an after thought or something we would have bought them anyhow. As they get older the gift giving bit will likely taper off. I say this to say you’re not alone. Do Christmas your way, how ever the Holy Spirit leads you, you’re not the only party pooping’ stick in the mud out there 😉

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  3. I agree. Motherhood has enough challenges… we should support each other and uplift each other, not judge. Diversity is beautiful.
    We also said we wouldn’t share our bed but ended up co-sleeping and can’t imagine it any other way. Our daughter recently transitioned to her own bed (she was so excited about getting a big girl bed of her own) but she still often crawls into ours at night. Something I’ll forever be thankful for. I miss her warm little body when she’s away. 🙂 Thanks for sharing.

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  4. She will be three in March. Honestly, she never really used the room her crib was in except for to play in. So in October of this last year we started pointing out in books and stories that some kids don’t sleep with their parents and would tell her she had a choice about it and that if she wanted to at some point, she could sleep in her own bed, in her own room. (Laying the ground work:)). Then in November, we took the crib out, replaced it with a bed and set the room up in a new way that was really cute and had a lot of her favorite things in it. She was SO excited! Even now, when we have visitors, the first thing she wants to do is show them HER room. I think she really likes the ownership of having something that is all hers. She really enjoyed picking out bedding too. I would say, don’t rush it, introduce it and when he’s a bit older let him know it is his choice and then let him make it his own by putting things in there that he likes. It really wasn’t a struggle with our girl, (which was a little heartbreaking for mommy and daddy) but she was so excited and each morning we would get really excited and give her lots of positive reinforcement for being a ‘big girl’ and either trying or succeeding in making it through the night on her own. She loved telling her grandparents when she succeeded. Most mornings she wakes up and comes into our bed still for the last hour, but we are ok (read- absolutely love) that. 🙂 Good luck!

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